Still very tough phase of my life in Mumbai. Things are not going through which I want to move to. I am trying to connect with new people, remove bad connections which has given me negative power, keep in touch with nice people around me to change the direction to better way. But the result has not come yet. I feel I am running long tunnel in a blind effort, looking for exit to reach new phase.
I spoke with my close friend in Japan on weekend. Both of us have own direction and dream, it will be long way to make it come true and sometimes exhausted to keep directions correctly and hardly trust ourselves that we are going to right path. We will become 30 years old soon, having a fear about future how we can be happy. Most of friends who are same age with us got married and have their own family, they have something they have to protect in their entire life which we cannot imagine at all now. They seems happy. However, my close friend and I haven’t preferred this way. We are still free from anything. Can it be call happy or not?
“Life is boring and not good.” One of my new indian friends said to me. He also added “But I’m happy with it.” I could not understand the meaning at the moment and thought of it for a while. Now, I can slightly understand what kind of life it is. Everyone have something which must be necessary to make our life 100% happy but not easy to figure out what should be added and how to fill. He might feel happy in current life but not 100% happy.
In this kind of bad mood phase, I always try to connect new people and collect different view of life. I might be in narrow thought and wanted to see life from different directions. Well, it works a bit on this weekend thanks to some new friends and old friends. Exit might be still far but I can run more to reach next phase at least. Well, I hope.