Which word is the best in English what I want to mean? “Concept of value”, “philosophy”, “sense of worth”, I can find a lot of translations of “価値観” on the dictionary. Anyway, I learned how important to have my own sense of value for communication, especially between people who has different background.
I have thought people mind is not so different all over the world through my experiences, travel around the world for one year. Even if we have different looking, different culture, it doesn’t become big problem to make friends. You can smile and make good memories which can be kept for whole your life. I still believe it is true.
However, understanding the difference is uneasy when you try to know someone well. This relationship is not like the one with a person whom you meet somewhere and spend a few days as a friend. It means the person whom you have to communicate for some purpose by taking for a long time. For instance, your business partner or your family. Frankly, traveling around the world and making new friends in each countries is not equal to understanding the differences of people, it may be a experience to “know” how is the differences of the people though. If you can overcome some issue which happens between people who is close to you, it may be nearly said you could “understand” the difference.
One day, I got some advice from my friends who have faced challenges because of some differences of people. One of my Japanese friends told me a good point. There are so many types of people around the world, that’s why I have to keep my own sense of value clearly as a person to communicate with them. Another American friend who married Japanese guy told me, if I have to split the difference to get one happiness, it is not true one. You must have responsibility for your own happiness. The other happiness is his/her own responsibility but not mine. It is different with selfishness. If I become happy and the other also can be happy, it is true happiness. Another senior Japanese friend who lives in US said she faces differences everyday and upset sometimes. But she doesn’t want to understand it. She just try to think it is their style and she has her own one.
Accepting or understanding differences cannot always be a good thing. It depends on situation and it can make good result and also bad sometimes. At least, having clear sense of value is necessary to live in this diversity and I need more practice to make it sure inside of me.